Relax - Envision - Succeed
This is our core three-dimensional approach towards helping you.
The first step is... Relax
We use a very unique combination of advanced hypnosis techniques, visualization and progressive relaxation to help you clear that chatter in your mind. If you are asking “What Chatter?” well…quite simply, it’s that inner voice that just asked “What Chatter?”
So, we all have this inner voice that tells us things. Sometimes it never seems to be quiet. What is it telling you? …Some good stuff we hope, but usually not. Often for most it’s that “to-do list” that just didn’t seem to get done or perhaps some other form of self-criticism. The real question is whose voice is this anyway? Most of this inner dialogue is negative and things we would never say to someone we love or even a stranger. The main thing to realize is that there is a positive intention behind even the most seemingly negative behavior. So what is this inner voice really trying to tell us, and perhaps more importantly, how do we satisfy it and quiet it down?
Pay attention to that inner voice, acknowledge it, thank it and then you can move forward. It is like a little child that is begging for your attention and the more you ignore it the louder it gets. Like my friend Topher says “To the degree that you do not pay attention to something you will pay with pain”. Thank your inner voice for sharing and then move on.
A major part of peoples stressors are initiated by lofty goals beyond your current means. In other words they are unrealistic or even unattainable objectives. This doesn’t mean we should lower our sights, but perhaps a few intermediate steps might be necessary. For instance; someone with a goal to live in a new home with a $5,000/month mortgage, when their total monthly income is that amount or less and they haven’t factored in other living expenses such as food, gas and car payments etc. In this case a person may set out to create the cash flow of say $8,000+/month, then look for a new home. The key is to stretch yourself enough to grow without breaking yourself.
Another source of stress comes from lifestyle changes, either forced or even voluntary and not always for the bad. A change in career can be very positive and still produce great amounts of stress. There are unavoidable stressors such as a death of someone close to us or loss of a job or business. Anything that pushes us beyond our comfort zone can be…well...uncomfortable. As the saying goes, “there is only one constant in life and the universe, and that is change”. The key is to have the right resources to deal with changes.
Building resiliency is truly a most powerful and resourceful skill to have. This goes beyond just relaxing, in that you are able to access a relaxed and more rational state of mind and rise above the circumstances. A lot of people have said that they have a problem and under the circumstances there is nothing they can do about it. What are you doing under there? Of course there is nothing that can be done under the circumstances, this is why it is important to be resilient and rise up above the circumstances. This means being at choice and taking responsibility for the fact that you are the creator of the circumstances in the first place. The good/bad news is that only when you acknowledge that you are the creator, can you begin to make any changes and truly have resiliency.
When you are able to stay resillient you are acting resourcefully. Most of us have the resources we need, it's more about resourcefulness. This simply means using the resources we already have. Please note that I said simple, but not always easy. Sometimes it seems easier to whine and complain. When you act resourcefully there is litterally nothing to complain about. The analogy would be of a rich man complaining that he can't afford a new Yacht when in fact he has the money in the bank. In other words the key is to use your resources resourcefully.
When you are relaxed you can more easily discover your hidden and even sometimes overtly obvious resources. This is why we utilize relaxation as the first step. When we are irrational we tend to make irrational choices and actions. Therefore your first resource is in fact a resourceful resource builder and that is to relax and become more aware of your resources.
Most people say they are too stressed. Usually the excuse is they do not have enough time and/or feel they have no control over time. We all have twenty four hours in the day so you can't manage time. For that matter you can not manage stress either. I'll even be so bold as to say you do not want to manage your stress. What you really want is to be able to handle even more stress... only... “less stressfully”.
Manage your tasks. This is done by creating priorities that are aligned with you vision of what you want for your life.
This leads us to the next step...
Here is where you get to dream with purpose. Have fun with this process and take your time to really dream. Rather than addressing all possible areas of your life at the same time, you can segment your dreaming into categories of life. On a larger scale you can create three categories of Health, Wealth and Love (we will address these in detail later). The coaching model has Ten Categories or Areas of Life; Health & Fitness, Money, Career, Friends, Family, Significant Other/ Romance, Personal Growth, Spirituality, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment. However you categorize it, begin to Think About... Picture... Imagine what you want in each area of your life.
What is your criteria for being happy with and/or feeling good about your life. Again, this is easier when you do it in bite size pieces. Some criteria may be real and tangible, while others can be vague or abstract concepts. Either way, be specific and use all your senses (feelings, visualizations, sounds, smells and tastes). For example: In the area of Health what is important to you?... Achieving and maintaining your ideal weight, Exercising for 30 minutes a day, Having a strong body and mind, etc. Whereas in the area of personal Growth it might be more vague i.e.: Becoming more open and honest, or getting focused or motivated to “Do It NOW!!! Gather as much criteria as you can. In this step quantity is more important than quality (at first). Next, you can narrow it down and start to prioritize them. Ultimately, you will have a list of the most important aspects of the key areas of your life.
Find Your Purpose. Answer the following question as many times as you need to, to get to your life vision or purpose. If all your top criteria were met simultaneously in all areas of your life, what would this allow you to do that is even more important? What is your purpose or vision?
If you have had a hard time with any of this... relax, you are not alone. We have helped hundreds of people discover their purpose, get more focused and motivated and clear on what they want. It is, once again, simple but not necessarily easy.
What is NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming?
Created by Dr Richard Bandler and John Grinder NLP is a great tool and a dynamic way of thinking that helps people make changes in there lives.
Neuro = Our Five Senses, the way we take in information. We See things, Feel things, Hear things, Smell or Taste things.
Linguistic = Language, the way we process and or make sense of the information that we take in.
Programming = Patterns or Habits, the way our other-than-conscious mind automates our behaviors or responses.
If you alter any of the three variables, then the other two are effected. In other words, if you change the way you take in information then this alters the way you process it at the automatic responses to it. If you change the way you make sense of something it alters your perception of the information and changes your patterns. For instance, a person with a fear of spiders actually distorts what they see (typically larger and closer). This would then lead to thinking they are in danger and the pattern is created to be the same anytime they see a spider. Conversly, If you take something positive like having lots of money and you make it larger and appear closer, then it might be more desirable and/or attainable.
Three things that happen with information taken in by our senses is we either; delete something, distort it or Generalize it. These are not necessarily good or bad, they just are. This is typified by the old game telephone, where a piece of information is spoken from one person to another who then repeats it to the next. The funny part is when the last person states it out loud to all and it is totally different then when it started. Generalizing enables us to sit down comfortably in a chair that we've never used before, rather than looking at it with a puzzled expression wondering what is it. The downside would be to generalize an unresourceful pattern like stress. Often times the simplest solution to a problem is become aware of a resource we were deleting. Simply realize as Alfred Korzipski said “The Map is not the Territory”.
NLP is a great tool that we utilize to reprogram you with the beliefs to achieve what you want. It works on a premise that the computer is modelled after an aspect of how the brain and mind process information. We can then flip this model and treat the Brain/Mind like a computer and re-program it for the results we want. This helps you to be the person who you need to be in order to achieve the results you want.
The simple equation:
Being + Doing = Having
Who you are and the actions you take determine the results you get.
This brings us to the third step:
Years before people were using the terms coaching & mentoring we were helping people to take the actions they needed to achieve results in all aspects of their lives. These terms have often been misinterpreted to be synonymous with: Consulting, therapy, friendship and advice. A good coach elicits what is needed to resolve problems and achive goals by asking the right questions. Not just any question, but a slightly tilted question that provokes a solution. We are certified professional success coaches, having acquired the title after utilizing the processes and techniques for years.
So how does coaching play into success?
I'll use an analoghous story: There were three frogs sitting on a log, on a hot summer day next to a pond of cool clear water. One of the frogs made a definite decision that it was absolutely going to jump into the pond. So, How many frogs were left on the log?... Many say two, when in fact there were still three. It only “Decided” to jump in, and did not take the necessary actions.
Life is Choice!!!
If life is choice, and at any given moment we are deciding to do or not to do, and these choices make up the moments that are our lives, then the qualities of these choices determine the qualities of our lives. If you second guess your choices then you are wasting time and missing out by second guessing your life. So when you make clear and confident choices, then you are clear and confident about your life.